Last week I was talking about setting life goals – whether in the form of a bucket list or a dream catcher.
And the ‘want to try at least once in my lifetime’ list was on my mind whenThe School of St Jude tweeted a challenge: Climb Mt Kilimanjaro and at the same time support St Jude’s educational efforts for orphaned and vulnerable children in Tanzania.
They promise that climbing the highest mountain in Africa will be an exhilarating experience that will stretch me physically and emotionally. And, of course, it’s a wonderful opportunity to be a part of the fantastic mission of The School of St Jude.
I immediately thought, “This is exactly the kind of thing that should be on my list but…”
The challenge freaks me out!
Spending 13 days in the intimate company of people I don’ know…
Hiking and camping in remote locations (where do we go to the toilet!)…
Living out of just a backpack instead of a suitcase (or three!)…
These are exactly the kinds of experiences I go out of my way to avoid.
Isn’t discomfort the point?
Aren’t we told that we have to ‘push through’ our boundaries to grow? That personal development requires stretching ourselves to the limit and going outside our comfort zone? It almost seems mandatory: no pain, no gain.
And these life goal lists are often dominated by truly extraordinary, physically/emotionally taxing, fear challenging achievements: swimming with sharks, climbing mountains, jumping out of planes. Definitely out of the standard comfort zone.
Bottom line: Is it helping you grow? Is it helping you live your extraordinary life?
These are wonderful adventures, and no doubt deliver an incredible adrenaline hit, but I wonder how they much they can really help you navigate the ordinary moments, to savour the slow day-to-day process of learning and re-learning your truth, to form meaningful connections.
I brought this up in conversation with a friend and she repeated a lovely quote:
I tried moving out of my comfort zone but didn’t find it very comfortable!
What’s true for me
I’ve no doubt that for some people, these big, comfort zone crashing challenges are exactly what they need to move forward in that moment in time. But I’m also seeing the possibility that pushing way outside the comfort zone isn’t a good thing for everyone, all the time.
For myself, I want to keep my dream catcher of life goals light, without a bunch of self-imposed high expectations. Maybe one day Kilimanjaro will make into my catcher, but not right now.
However, I have added a visit to The School of St Jude to my list.
What about you? Do you have any big adventures on your list? Are they there because you really want to do them, or because you think you should?
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[...] Jo of Living Savvy asks “Is pushing out of our comfort zone always a good thing?” [...]
Fascinating post! You’ve written this issue out so well. I’m thinking now back to when I’m in the yoga studio, and trying to seek out my own limit while being at ease with my own body. Sometimes I fight myself every step of the way, and I’ll literally lie on the mat thinking, “Is my frustration a sign that I should stop or that I’m heading in the right direction?” Haha. (So much for zen relaxation).
I’m also seeing a definite web collision of consciousness today. I just wrote an article myself on keeping personal style authentic and not dressing ridiculously (or as Gala Darling puts it, “unicorn vomit”!) just for the sake of standing out!
It all comes down to authenticity, I think. I’m wondering if you found it hard to write this post, because I certainly did when I wrote mine. When you’re used to striving for being remarkable, it can be daunting to admit that sometimes, as your blog heading implies, the ordinary can become the extraordinary.
Tessa, I can relate to your experience with yoga. When I first started yoga with my fella Andrew, he was much more flexible then me (I’m competitive so that was hard to take). Our yoga teacher said something like yoga is all about not comparing yourself to others but accepting that you are where you are ……a very novel idea for me, accepting what I can do and not pushing myself to do better….I think this may have been the beginning of acknowledging that your ordinary could be another’s extraordinary and someone else’s ordinary could be my extraordinary.
I have also written this post on why comparing sucks & celebrate what you have . Here http://livingsavvy.com.au/the-comparing-game-and-why-it-sucks
I agree that when you are used to striving towards remarkable, it can be daunting to admit that sometimes, the ordinary can become the extraordinary. I am living this at the moment Tessa, I have had to make significant changes to my exercise (type, amount) which on advice from the Doctor means that although I have to keep moving, I have to stop pushing myself & striving to go that bit faster or longer. Very daunting and a big challenge for me.
[...] While chilling out in beautiful downtown Bondi, I came across an interesting article on the living savvy site “Is pushing out of our comfort zone always a good thing?” [...]
Thank you for visiting. I have replied on your your site. A great adventure you have embarked on.
If growth is your plan, then a bit of discomfort is almost inevitable – a caterpillar has to grow and change to become a butterfly. My own personal odyssey has been uncomfortable, challenging and downright scary for me.
I’m just an ordinary kind of guy – father of two wonderful kids; a husband to the most supportive person I know but an ordinary person none-the-less – and I find myself having taken on a challenge to try to help create a safe world for my kids to grow up in. Even though this is way outside my comfort zone I believe that, had I NOT done this, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. In order to do this I have invested my nest-egg in public speaking skills; I have left (however temporarily) a good job; I have even left my family (the raison d’etre for all of this) to cycle around Australia over almost 5 months.
I am encountering lots of new experiences along the way – not least of which is dealing with media opportunities and “selling myself” to organisations that can help me get my message out. This is even discounting the physical trials of riding 5 days out of 7 and giving presentations afterwards. At the ripe old age of 54 this is something that 7 months ago was not even on my radar let alone a plan of action, yet I find myself now over 1,500km from home talking to people on how they can make a real difference in their lives and help to drive down their GHG emissions while avoiding unnecessary energy costs.
This is all good stuff and I wouldn’t change it for the world – after all, it’s the world as we know it that I want to save.
My blog is at Ride The Talk website and YOU can help me in MY quest by adopting change in your life (and maybe even save yourself some money!) – now THAT’s a Win-Win.