In the past couple of decades, the idea of having work-life balance has really taken hold. Problem is, work-life balance doesn’t exist, and the pursuit of this unachievable ideal is leading many women away from their most fulfilling, satisfying and joyful dream life.
Why balancing your life is a recipe for disaster…
‘Balancing’ suggests carefully weighing the different aspects of your life against each other to reach some kind of perfect (if precarious) equilibrium. Or perhaps itemising your life debits and credits like an accountant.
Work-life balance implies that we can separate who we are and what we do into neat segments, and then arrange these in a formulaic, scheduled way ie. three hours on this and two hours on that.
And if we have more than two aspects of our life needing attention (and who doesn’t?), then we’re stuck with the concept of ‘juggling’ and keeping all those pieces in the air at once. Doesn’t sound like a dream life to me!
Life’s not balanced
Life is
- unpredictable
- complicated
- fuzzy around the edges
- ever-changing.
If we want to live in a way that is fulfilling, satisfying and joyful, honouring our responsibilities and our dreams, we need to roll with the fluidity of daily life, not try to control it with rigid systems.
This is why, with my coaching clients, I recommend an integrated life approach.
Putting together your integrated life puzzle
Look at the life you are creating (perhaps take a snapshot) and ask yourself what the major pieces of your life puzzle are right now.
Some ideas to get started:
- Health
- Career
- Community
- Relationships
- Parenting
- Money
- Creativity
Consider the size of each piece, and the shape. Like a jigsaw puzzle, each piece will have different edges. The idea is to play with your pieces and discover ways they might fit together, seamlessly. Once example of this might be combine aspects—I love to combine exercise with family time.
It’s important to remember that this is not a trick to somehow fit more in your life. As Cat has explored in our Living Savvy Online TV coaching videos, there is a cost of trying to do it all. Looking at your integrated life puzzle is an opportunity to see how your life fits, as a whole, and decide if some pieces can be changed in size or shape to better align with what’s truly important to you right now.
Also, remember that what’s important and necessary will change over time, and life stages. If you have a young family or are starting your own business (or both!), your integrated life puzzle will look very different in two, five and ten years.
What about you?
How do you feel about the concept of work-life balance? Perhaps there are already aspects of your life you are integrating, rather than balancing… how is it working for you?
Image by winnifredxoxo
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