What am I celebrating?

I am continuing to celebrate ‘me’ as the birthday fun continues with a dinner on Saturday evening.  I have planned a month of celebrations so this may be a theme for the next week or so.

What am I acknowledging?

Birthdays are a great time to reflect and look within.  Entering a new decade also brings with it a promise for new opportunities for personal evolution. So have been aware of thoughts that are floating through my head about who I am, what I do and who I wish to become.

What was missing?

Turning off the computer by 10pm each night.  Have not been consistent with this but more aware of the time to say “enough”.

What small change can I make to have more of that next week?

Last week I committed to reaching for my novel and not the TV remote when I am winding down from my evening session on the computer. No turning on the TV after 10pm at night!  This has been happening and I am going to commit to again this week because it hasn’t been easy – I love unwinding in front of the  TV but also know that I rarely turn it off “after the next ad” while a book will lull me off to sleep.

This is a common question asked by many of my coaching clients. Often, the very thing you are trying to change – a life packed with demands and responsibilities at home and at work – leaves you very little time to reflect, to plan, and to start making the changes.

Add to that the fact that all the aspects you want to change seem like a massive a job. Balance, health, awareness, do good for the community, family – how can you fit all this in?

Trying to do it all, trying to squeeze it in when you ‘have a moment’, just doesn’t work

In her video (just click the play button above to watch), Cat talks about feeling overwhelmed when she looks at her dream board because in her current state of pressure and stress it simply doesn’t seem possible.

When she thinks about how it might happen, she doesn’t want “just another shopping list of goals, because I’ve done that in the past and it begins to lose its meaning”.

Commit to one thing

This is one of the tips from my 10 simple steps to start changing your life today.

Choose one small practice, and schedule a time for that to happen. Small and regular works best – just 10 minutes a day could be all you need to start making changes.

I will often choose one question to reflect on for the week and make use of daily habits or space I already have in place – like exercising or doing the dishes. So I will think about my one question every time I go for a run, or am standing at the sink, and then jot down my thoughts and answers.

In Cat’s case, I challenged her to keep her daily ‘looking after me’ appointment for one week.

What’s one small commitment you could make to yourself this week?

In 2008, she embarked on 365 Days of Grateful, a personal project for which every day for one year, she took a single Polaroid photograph of something she was grateful for.

You can view the wonderful photographs from her first 365 Days of Grateful here. And you can read the original Notebook article via the PDF Hailey has posted on her blog here. And she also continued her practice of gratitude into 2009 and 2010 – together with a fellow ‘blissed out mama’ – here.

The good stuff in life can be surprisingly simple

Here at Living Savvy, we talk about how we can fine tune the ordinary to live extraordinary, but let’s not forget how many truly exquisite, magical moments are to be found in the ordinary, just as it is.

The literal capturing of just one moment in a Polaroid is a powerful expression of that idea – because looking at Hailey’s images you can feel the depth of gratitude that emerges from those moments:

• running alongside while her daughter rides a bike
• freshly planted basil plants
• even a backyard full of yellow weeds!

In our community forum we’ve started a list of 101 ordinary things we can do to live extraordinary – check it out and add your suggestions.

We usually find what we’re looking for

Hailey says:

I found that in the practice of doing it every day I started to catch things I would have otherwise walked straight past… It’s easy to spend our lives rushing from one thing to the next, but this allowed me to kind of press pause each day and savour those beautiful moments that would otherwise pass me by.

I’ve noticed the same effect with my weekly Champagne Friday practice. As I consciously acknowledge and celebrate the great things happening each week, it heightens my awareness of what is going well the following week.

It’s like, have you ever wanted a particular colour of shoes to match an outfit for a big event? Say you really want red shoes, and suddenly you’re seeing them everywhere you never saw them before. Even on other people’s feet!

Intentionally look for something, and you will find it.

What are you paying attention to in your life? What would you like to start looking for?

What am I celebrating?

Me! It was my birthday this week.  A new decade – the forties.   The day was filled with champagne, friends, family, presents & good wishes.  If this is any indication of the decade to come, bring it on I say!

What am I acknowledging?

My recent radio interview on 612 Brisbane. I made a conscious decision not to ’swat up’ on pre-prepared answers but instead to centre myself and focus on getting to that place where I could walk into the studio with a feeling of anticipation, excitement and confidence.

What was missing?

Sleep.  I have heard people say (including myself at times) that sleep is overrated but after many nights of only 6 hours sleep my body and brain are requesting a quality night of rest.

What small change can I make to have more of that next week?

I’m going to reach for my novel and not the TV remote when I am winding down from my evening session on the computer. No turning on the TV after 10pm at night!

Ready to pop the cork with me? I’d love to hear about your week in the comments…

What about when our personal choices run up against our ‘labels’?

They’re tricky things, labels. They’re often assigned to us with a whole lot of expectations that we didn’t necessarily sign up for. Expectations around how we should dress and behave and talk. Expectations that don’t always align with our personal choices.

Take the label ‘WAGs’…

That’s for the Wives And Girlfriends of sportsmen. It seems to guarantee a certain level of public scrutiny and attract a good amount of ridicule if said public scrutiny is not handled well.

As was the case when Haley Bracken was judged to have had a ‘frock shock’ at the Allan Border Medal awards night last month, with her self-designed, see-through mesh, floral mermaid gown.

Dare to be different

Good-natured Mia Freedman suggested Haley be given a break as at least she’s not, unlike many celebrities, been styled within an inch of her life by fashionista clone creators.

Do we expect everyone to get it perfectly right every time? Wouldn’t if be boring if we did?

There are certainly photographs in my own album that I look back on and wonder, “What the hell was I thinking?!” But hey, I was expressing myself and trying something different. Better that then to be lost in the crowd I say. So, good on Haley for giving it a go and showing us her own unique style.

And different again

Then there’s inspirational women (who also carry the label of WAG), like Tracy Bevan who helped set up the McGrath Foundation with her best friend Jane McGrath, who lost her fight with breast cancer in 2008. Tracy is now the Executive Director of the Foundation and continues to work tirelessly to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds.

Like I said, labels are tricky things. However, ultimately, I believe that each of us defines our own personal brand, regardless of the labels others might apply. The question is: how will you choose to show up?

Do these questions make you feel uncomfortable? Don’t be surprised if they do. From an early age most of us are taught that it’s not nice to boast, and later in life the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ keeps us from wanting to stand out in the crowd. So, instead, we constantly remind ourselves of our own shortcomings, and do our best to blend in.

You are special

And acknowledging it doesn’t mean you think you’re better than everyone else. The fact is, we are all different. Your experiences, your outlook, your sensibilities, your stage of life, all these characteristics combine to create your unique personal brand.

Uncovering your personal brand means getting clear on your best qualities and strengths, embracing what makes you special, and shining your truth to the world. When you live this way, comfortable and confidently expressing your personal brand, you’ll find a new ease with everything. Your personal brand transcends the expectations of others and helps you align the external – how you dress, how you work, how you interact with others – with the internal

So, let’s get started.

Exercise 1: Your Best Qualities

• Write a list of your 20 best qualities – yes, 20! Turn off that very well practised negative tape and think creatively.
• Narrow this list to five key positive qualities that best represent you.
• Ask three people whose opinion you respect to tell you the five qualities they most love and admire about you. Ask them to provide specific examples.
• Combine your list and their list and finalise your top five qualities.

Exercise 2: Go Deeper

• Choose your favourite drink – it might be champagne or a banana smoothie or a short black.
• Now, role play the drink. That’s right, write down, “I am champagne. I am light and bubbly.” Or, “I am a banana smoothie. I’m nutritious, rich and frothy.” It may feel silly funny, but role playing allows you to express qualities you might otherwise censure. Go with it, and always capture your first response.
• Now look at the qualities you have uncovered. What did you discover?
• Try it with your favourite type of shoes, favourite car, favourite animal…

Inspired by an exercise from Barbara Sher’s book “Wishcraft”.

Exercise 3: Play With Your Personal Brand

• Gather together a large piece of cardboard, scissors, glue and a stack of women’s fashion or general interest magazines.
• Reread your top qualities and hold them in your mind.
• Close your eyes and imagine yourself in an everyday situation – walking into the office, meeting friends for lunch, or visiting your child’s school.
• Choose just one scene and imagine yourself confident, expressing your best qualities, comfortable in how you look and present to others. What are you wearing? How does it feel?
• Now find matching images from your magazine and build your style board.
• Repeat this exercise for different scenes and see what style emerges.
• Take your completed style board to your wardrobe and compare what you have to what you really want. Start fine tuning today!

Inspired by an exercise from Jennifer Louden’s book “Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life”.

This exercise relates to clothing but your personal brand can (and should) be expressed in everything you are creating in your life – your job, your family, your home. Play with the possibilities…

Share your discoveries in the comments below. Or join the conversation in the Living Savvy community forum.

As someone who loves chasing new ideas and opportunities, and who always wants to perform at my best, this can be a big problem for me. I make a conscious effort to regularly stop, acknowledge and celebrate – whether that’s at the end of the week (check out the Champagne Friday series) or at the end of a year.

So, in these closing weeks of 2009, I’m taking a moment to reflect on the Living Savvy project so far and share with you what I’m most grateful for.

Highlights of Living Savvy 2009

Online TV Program

It’s been an absolute pleasure to work with Sofie Formica and the Living Savvy production team to bring to the screen the stories of our real women living savvy – Cat, Vicky, Jane and Janine.

Each of these ladies have been incredibly candid in telling their stories as they work with the Living Savvy life coaches to fine tune their lives. If you haven’t already, you should check out the videos with Cat, Vicky, Jane and Janine now.

Launch celebration

Our official launch on 16th September 2009, at the Limes Hotel in Brisbane, really captured the essence of Living Savvy – people connecting, being inspired, and thinking more deeply about what they want to create in their life.

Website

Following the launch, the website has really continued those Living Savvy themes of finding connection, inspiration and self awareness. It’s been wonderful to start building this community, to share my thoughts on living savvy and to hear your voice too.

We’ve talked about taking time out, making the mundane fun, asking big questions, and designing the life we really want.

More for you in 2010

Most importantly, we want to keep sharing and keep connecting in 2010.

For the start of the year, following your feedback, we’re going to simplify the Living Savvy website to make it even easier to stay in touch with what’s happening.

I’m going to be posting more thoughts, stories from our readers and feature writers, helpful how-tos and of course inviting you to join in on our weekly Champagne Friday. We’ll also be releasing brand new videos as Cat, Vicky, Jane and Janine continue on their living savvy journey.

Until then, we’re taking a much needed summer holiday, to relax and recharge, and return to you in early 2010 with new energy.

I hope you have an equally rejuvenating break and look forward to catching up next year!

Jo Bassett

What am I celebrating?

The smart and committed people who are collaborating with me on living savvy.  A meeting this week reminded me of the great things that can happen when you bring talented people together, set a focus and step back and give them the space to create.

What am I acknowledging?

My skills in facilitating and leading this meeting.  A long time ago I stopped worrying about being the “smartest” person in the room and instead focussed on creating spaces where others could shine. By pooling our knowledge, skill and talent we can create something even more special.

What was missing?

My patience and tolerance is running low!

What can I do more of?

I plan to use this week of Christmas celebration to truly savour what is most important to me – my relationships with my children, Andrew, family and dear friends.

Ready to pop the cork with me? I’d love to hear about your week in the comments…

And you know what I was thinking when I saw that cover?

It’s wonderful to see the natural beauty of the ‘older’ woman celebrated, but arghhhh, never on my best day could I look like that!

Comparing and ’shoulds’ seem to go hand-in-hand

When we put our attention on someone else’s extraordinary, we can quickly find ourselves chasing an ideal that’s hard to live up to. And that’s when the ’shoulds’ start to pile up.

If Sarah Murdoch can look that fantastic in an untouched photograph then I should make more of an effort to look spectacular whenever I step out of the house.

As a runner, I often look at champions like Catherine Freeman, who have achieved so much with their determination and disciple, and think I should, at the very least, run every day.

But it’s not just the celebrities – so often we are comparing ourselves with our friends and neighbours and colleagues, and more often than not we think we don’t measure up.

Have you noticed how the comparisons and ’shoulds’ intensify around Christmas?

Like when you have a friend who sends out beautifully personalised family Christmas cards each year, right on time, and you think, ‘I should be that organised’.

Or when you have someone in the family whose Christmas spread is always Nigella-Lawson-domestic-goddess exquisite and you think, ‘I should be making everything from scratch.

Of course, the irony is that as much as we admire (and perhaps envy) someone else’s achievements, there’s no doubt they are themselves playing the comparing game and feeling that they don’t measure up.

Your ordinary may be another’s extraordinary – and vice versa

Thinking through all this reminds me how easy it is forget that each of us is extraordinary in her own unique way.

When we focus on comparing ourselves to somebody else’s extraordinary – we lose sight of what makes us special. And that is why the comparing game sucks!

What do I celebrate?

Time with my family (a less frequent event than I would like due to geographical distance). The rest and relaxation and letting go that comes with having others help with looking after and entertaining the kids.

The saying goes that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, having family around certainly helps to share the load. I’ve enjoyed this pre-Christmas break.

What do I acknowledge from my week?

Inspired by this thoughtful blog by Sarah Wilson, I chose to turn to cheerfulness in my every day. It’s been a winner!

Also, I acknowledge exercising when I want too, without the ‘have tos’ or ’shoulds’ that so often accompany the high expectations I place on myself.

What was missing?

On a positive note – the usual overload of work was missing from my week.

I planned to take computer, PHD studies and work away with me on my holiday. I realised as I was waiting to board the plane that I’d left my laptop in the car, so I dashed out to get it. Then, when I arrived at my destination, I realised I’d left my PhD studies at home along with my mouse.

Do you think the universe was trying to tell me something?

What small change can I make to live a little more savvy next week?

With school holidays upon me, it’s the right time to change my expectations around the quantity of work I can complete.  I’ll keep focused on the task at hand – be it playing, swimming, work or rest – and remember there is time and space for everything that I want to do in life. But it’s probably best not to try to do it all at once!

Ready to pop the cork with me? I’d love to hear about your week in the comments…