Inside Coaching is where we dig into the coaching conversation, with questions from real women* living savvy—my coaching clients, friends and readers. Don’t forget to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments, and send in your questions here.
*Note: names and certain specifics may be changed to protect privacy. Photo is Jo coaching with Vicky from the living savvy online TV series.
Marianne Part 4…
This is the fourth (and final for now) post in my ongoing coaching conversation with Marianne.
Throughout the series Marianne has been challenging herself to:
- make time for reflection and personal development, to build the life she really wants
- acknowledge the choices she’s already making and how those are shaping her life right now
- honestly assess her strengths and qualities, and examine how these relate to the life she dreams of creating.
It’s time to look ahead
Jo:
Let’s explore your possible futures—can you write a story about Marianne of the future?
Marianne:
Once again, I struggled to put my life of the next 12 months down on paper. Why?!
Is it because I am fighting to accept what it is I really want to achieve in the next 12 months?
My first thought was, “I want a new car, a black Mazda CX-7, the luxury model with all the bells and whistles.” Then I thought, why bother when it will just sit in the garage?
No, what I want challenge, excitement and new cultural experiences—I want to work overseas!
I need to get totally out of my comfort zone, move away from my security network, and learn to communicate on a different level. And who knows, once on this journey I may encounter an irresistible, captivating, challenging and accepting male character who appreciates the attributes that I have to offer!
Break it down, and give yourself options
Jo:
This is a wonderful start! Here are some thoughts to play with…
If looking 12 months ahead is tricky, then look forward only two months, and then another two months from there. Play with imagining yourself at points in the future and what you-in-the-future might want, as she looks ahead.
Don’t stop with the first idea, rework and play.
Write down at the top of a piece of paper, “The life that I want to create and live for the next 12 months is challenging, exciting and culturally rich, where I shed my layers and” _________. Set the timer for five minutes and keep writing as many ways to finish that sentence as pop into your head—nothing is too silly!
Now ask, “How many different ways could I experience this life?” and again write as many answers as you can imagine…
1. Live and work overseas
2. Look for local job opportunities that offer me a new challenge.
3. Test my comfort zone by going sky diving, or taking up public speaking or…
4. Meet new people by joining a cultural social club, taking a language class, planning a trip overseas, or…
I’m challenging you to come up with ways you can start living the life you want without one radical change—that is, ‘putting all your eggs in one basket’.
The fine-tuning aspect of living savvy is about small things that you can do immediately to live the life that you want.
Marianne:
Following your suggestion I was working on some more short-term dreams and goals when what you said popped into my mind: All your eggs in one basket.
On reflection, I realised I was repeating the same patterns of thinking. It feels very empowering to recognise this and be able to make a different choice.
Only yesterday, I was discussing with family members how you have helped me shape my life at a whole new level—personally and professionally. It’s been a real journey of self discovery and acceptance!
Fill in the gaps
Jo:
This is a fantastic insight—finding the strength and clarity to guide yourself is such an important part of this process.
Now you have a clear picture of how you show up and how you want to show up, what you are creating now and what you want to create in the future, it’s time to fill in the blanks. Think about the Marianne you want to be in the future and ask, how did she get from here to there?
Marianne:
Over the weekend I thought about (again) my answers to the questions: Where am I now? Where do I want to be? How do I get there? I was used to using this problem-solving in business but had never applied it to my personal life.
I realised it was the last question—How do I get there?—that I’ve been avoiding.
So, true to my desired personal brand of ‘smart, stylish, sassy with a dash of sophistication’, I’ve assigned myself a concrete action to achieve by Christmas!
By Christmas I will go on four dates(and not with the guys I already know). I have some beautiful events and opportunities coming over the next few months and I’m not going to let them pass me by!
In my mail to you over the few months, I have heard a confident business woman who is where she wants to be professionally, but who has a lack of understanding and confidence in her personal well-being. This task is going to help with that.
Thanks again for all your guidance and support.
Jo:
I’m always thrilled when clients are able to begin coaching themselves. You took action, reflected on what you did, gave yourself feedback, made some discoveries, challenged yourself to try something new and set yourself a fresh action! Well done!
What’s next?
Have you been dreaming big? Can you break down or rework your ideas to explore different options? What about a choice of achievable action steps you could start taking today to move closer to your dream life?
Share your experience, or ask questions, in the comments…
Have a coaching question? Ask in the comments or via our living savvy contact form.
Related posts:
- Inside Coaching with Jo: How do I narrow down my choices to the dream that’s right for me?
- Inside Coaching with Jo: What if I’m confused about what I want?
- Inside Coaching with Jo: How do I find the time to make life changes?
- Inside coaching: How do you know when your dream is just too big for right now?
- Inside Coaching: Isn’t making time for myself and my dreams selfish?
