Inside Coaching is where we dig into the coaching conversation, with questions from real women* living savvy—my coaching clients, friends and readers. Don’t forget to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments, and send in your questions here.
*Note: names and certain specifics may be changed to protect privacy. Photo is Jo coaching with Vicky from the living savvy online TV series.
Marianne Part 2…
This is the second post in my ongoing coaching conversation with Marianne. At 33, Marianne is asking herself: What do I really want? and Am I making choices that take me closer to that dream?
First step: what got you here?
Jo:
When thinking about life change the temptation can be to focus totally on your dreams and desires—where you want to be in your future. But the key to arriving at your desired destination is some kind of map. It doesn’t have to be a detailed life blueprint (if, like me, that doesn’t work for you), but it does, like any good map, need to establish your starting point!
One of the first exercises I ask almost every client to complete is to write the story of the life you are creating right now. (You can also create a snapshot of where you’re spending your time.)
You’re already making choices that are shaping your life, now’s the time to recognise those choices (instead of making them automatically) and look into the underlying patterns and stories.
Marianne:
Your questions have really got me thinking… and I’ve also been wondering why it’s taken so long, since you first asked me, to write this story.
I think it’s because I have these different (competing?) pathways in my mind: where I’ve been and where I want to go.
So, where have I been?
I come from a family of five kids, and have lived in the shadow of my twin sister. I was the larrikin sporty one, and she was the academic one with a talent for communication.
I felt lost, lonely and without any real importance in life.
For years I went from job to job with no real focus or goal. Then, five years ago, I ended up in the manufacturing industry. The industry training was better than any university degree. I guess that my history—my struggles and tears and experiences—had actually developed the skills and knowledge I needed for this career that was opening up for me.
To be honest, I’ve never reflected on this before. I’ve never looked back at this important turning point in my life and realised that where I came from gave me the drive, determination, confidence and competency to move forward in my career!
Jo:
What a great insight—gaining clarity on this story of being “lost, lonely and without any real importance” is very valuable because now you can see whether this story is influencing the life you are creating now, and/or colouring your vision for the future.
Second step: What are you creating right now?
Marianne:
Unlike the past, today I’m neither lost, nor lonely, nor without importance. I have an exciting job, which offers me challenges, diversity and opportunity for career advancement. I have a wonderful circle of true friends and family who support and adore me, as I do them!
And that’s the choice I’m struggling with for the future—career, family, or both. I find myself clouded when I try to determine what’s the best option for me.
I do aspire to be the best that I possibly can be in my career, I love travelling and meeting exciting people from all walks of life, and I love kids.
Jo:
“What am I creating?” is a big question! This is a strong start. It’s raising more questions than answers for you, but that’s definitely something we can work with!
What’s next?
Have you taken the time to think about your life story? What’s got you to where you are today, and how are your day-to-day choices shaping your life right now? Have you discovered anything unexpected?
Share your thoughts in the comments and stay tuned for the next instalment of Inside Coaching with Marianne—sign up for updates so you don’t miss a post.
Have a coaching question? Ask in the comments or via our living savvy contact form.
Related posts:
- Inside Coaching with Jo: How do I find the time to make life changes?
- Inside Coaching with Jo: How do I dream big for tomorrow AND take action today?
- Inside Coaching with Jo: How do I narrow down my choices to the dream that’s right for me?
- Inside Coaching: Isn’t making time for myself and my dreams selfish?
- Inside Coaching: What happens when you have the courage to act on your dreams?
