This is a common dilemma faced by people starting coaching.Many clients that I coach are living full lives at work and home, juggling many demands and responsibilities.
Finding time is a common challenge when people first commence coaching finding a rhythm for reflection and then creating the space (time) to put thoughts into action on down on paper. I find that planning ahead helps, when you plan your week also put in time for your coaching reflection and actions.
It is essential that a regular space and place for listening is created.
I will nominate my question for the week and reflect on while I am exercising and jot down my thoughts on the first piece of paper I can find when I return home.
Most importantly remember not to let coaching become another chore or task on your to do list…it is a gift that you are giving yourself so enjoy.
I agree. Whether it's formal coaching, or a personal time for reflection, it's so important to take time out to give your mind and body space to focus.
When I make the time for coaching sessions and personal reflective time it helps to focus my mind and clear my head, which makes the rest of my time far more productive.
One of the advantages of a formal coaching arrangement is that it makes you accountable to someone else to set aside that time. If you have an appointment, you will go. We all need support and encouragement to help us achieve our goals, so this can be very valuable.
Outside formal coaching, we should also be happy to make appointments with ourselves and value our own time enough to keep them.
Monique, You're right! You are less likely to cancel an appointment with someone else which is one of the accountability factors of coaching that makes it more likely for you to show up. Clients have told me that one of the best things about coaching is that they have an hour (give or take) where they are totally focused on themselves having a conversation with someone who is totally focused on them.
Outside of coaching how do you create a space for listening?
Good questions … finding space to 'listen' and be is often a challenge for me … so I have learned a few strategies.
1 is to create time to 'socialise with an agenda' – that is, I'll have coffee or lunch with someone who always has me see life from a different perspective … just in our natural conversation … so it's not a 'forced' discussion or as formal as a coaching relationship … but produces a similar outcome.
My 2nd strategy (and often more challenging for me to follow) is just to take time out in a different environment … for example, today it was as simple as taking a new magazine out to my BBQ/pool area while I enjoyed my lunch. Now that is SO obvious – but I rarely do it … normally I wolf down lunch in front of the computer or on the run. It was only 1/2 an hour – but the change of pace, space and perspective helped me not only focus, but to integrate some random thoughts and ideas I'd been 'stewing' on for a while.
Another strategy is to use the time when I'm putting my young boys to sleep/back to sleep to just ponder … I used to get caught up in 'hurrying' them back to sleep … now I use the time for a kind of impromtu meditation.
And the final one is driving time – some time I listen to talk-back or others current affairs style programs, which helps me spark new ideas, and other times I like to listen to educational CDs etc. But I always recognise the value of silence .. and again giving space for all of those random yet interconnected thoughts to settle, integrate and evolve where appropriate into action.
Cat, your socialise with an agenda is a useful and practical idea. I find this works especially well when you are connecting with someone who has a genuine interest in understanding and supporting. I have had many "coaching conversations" with people like this who are not coaches but know how to share information and ask questions that move you to a different place.
Jo Bassett, Living Savvy Life Coach
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