LivingSavvy

I am finding life really, really difficult at the moment.  I have set myself goals like moving to London in the UK, graduating uni,working part-time while at uni and  travelling the world.  I have not achived any of these goals I keep deferring and putting off uni (maybe because I am just not cut out for uni) My family are not the most honest they are quite dysfunctional.  I desparately want to achieve my goals, but I am finding it really, really tough to move forward in life and achieve what I would like.

If anyone has any advice on how to move forward and how to go about achieving my goals and making a success of my life I would be happy to hear your advice.  I look and look for part-time employment but I am still unemployed after searching and searching for about a year and a half or longer.

The conversation continued by email, our guest on the site agreed that we could share our conversation with you…please comment or share any tips you find useful.  

She said,

Hi Jo

I hope you are well and having a lovely day or night.

Thank you so much for emailing me.  Your website looks fantastic by the way it is inspirational and informative.

My end goal was to become a lawyer and move to London in the UK.  I actually had to improve my original OP score to gain entry into uni.  That was a challenge.

Like I said previously I have begun my uni degree and started for 1 week or 2 and then I continue each time to defer my degree.

I want to travel Europe and the world as well.  I went to the UK in May 08  and I really like it there a lot. I dislike the heat in Brisbane Australia and the I dislike the culture as well.  

One of the biggest problems I face is that my family will not stay away from me and they would not want me to achieve my goals under any circumstances.  My family actually make it more difficult and challenging to achieve my goals.   My family are highly dysfunctional if you can come up with a bad life situation my family members have been involved in it.  I will not go into detail but what they do in life and what I have had to experience has not been good.  

I feel  I have little support in terms of achieving my goals.   Most days I feel like giving up.  I am unemployed so that makes me feel worse.

What sort of alternatives to education do you mean?

Looking shorter term into the future (1 month)  is very, very useful and helps put things in perspective.

I have been to see a number of psychologists and each one tells me the same thing.   Maybe you should move out of your family home (I live at home still with my mother I am 27) and after many, many psychology sessions I still suffer depression. (seeing a psychologist is expensive too when you are unemployed).  Many of the psychologists I have had sessions with make me feel that personally they do not really care about me or my goals.  However I am learning slowly to take one day at a time and to take a lot better care of my self than I have in the past.  I have often over eaten and become really, really upset at times.  I also have learnt that no matter what happens  I am responsible for my life and actions.

I would love to stay in touch with you.  You sound very, very intelligent, motivated and like you want to inspire others to reach their potential.

Jo if you have any further tips on how I could reach my goals or which direction I should head next let me know.  Also any advice on life skills you would give to a person in my situation.

I think many people come from families who are “dysfunctional” in some ways. It is hard when you try to break away from how your parents and extended family have chosen to live. They may be not be supportive because they have tried and failed themselves or they just don't know there is a different way of living.

It is a great ambition – to travel the world – but if it is not within reach at the moment, make it a 10 year goal. This by the way can happen earlier.

Then explore options closer to home that is achivable say in 6 months time.

Look into becoming a girl guide camp leader in Australia – they may provide opportunities to travel overseas within their network.

Help out with not-for-profit organisations to obtain skills or experience and seek guidance from the network of people there – there are amazing group of “movers and shakers” involved in this sector.

Hope this helps.