Two-faced. Hypocritical.
When we feel people aren't being real with us, when we see that what they are doing doesn't match up with what they say, we can get pretty angry. It feels deceptive. Like a betrayal.
But I don't think the damage is limited to us. I think when people have that misalignment between what they believe and how they are in the world, it poisons them too. And that creates more anger and sadness.
On the flip side, when I see people who are living very true to themselves, whose beliefs, activities and behaviour are aligned, they have a glow. That's not to say life's always easy, but they are sustained by their values and carry that out into the world in everything they do.
Two short stories
Following the death of my grandmother, I went with my mother to make arrangements for the funeral (or the goodbye party as my four year old daughter described it).
Organising the flowers was a difficult task for Mum, until we met Jennifer, a florist who had that special glow. It was so obvious that her work was a true extension of her beliefs.
Later that same day I returned to her florist shop for a small bouquet of flowers to take home to my mother. She spent twenty minutes arranging an inexpensive purchase into a work of art.
Another person I see as living true to herself is Leanne, the owner of my fitness centre. Her pool of vitality seems to overflow as she expresses her beliefs in the value of health and well-being in work and play.
So who is the 'true you'?
We often get tripped up over the word 'values', thinking it has to be a heavy, serious thing. In truth, values are the simple beliefs that are reflected in all your everyday choices.
When you ask or are asked the question “What do you do?”, “Where are you going on holidays?”, “What have you been reading?”, “Great outfit – where did you get it?” … you're talking about values.
What do you believe?
I believe my relationships are the essential nourishment for my soul and spirit. This means I choose to create time and space to spend time with the special people in my life
I also believe in fairness, authenticity, credibility and optimism. So when I interact with others I always do my best to understand the world from their perspective, and to be genuine and honest in my interactions.
Nobody's perfect
Do I live true to my values perfectly every day? Definitely not, I am human after all! But being clear on my beliefs and aware of how I am (or am not) reflecting them in my activities and behaviour, gives me the energy and motivation to keep living my life true to me.
So, tell me, what are your values? And how are they reflected (or not) in your life?
If there was one small change you could make this week to create greater alignment between your beliefs, actions and behaviour, what would it be?
Image by exfordy
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- Living Savvy Episode #11: The living savvy women reveal their secret fantasies!
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